1 thing you dont know about me

i've been tagged by sara! but um, instead of posting 5 things you dont know about me... how about i just post an in-depth 1? 5 is too much for me to handle pre-lunch.

i went to catholic school for 10 years (pre k to 8th grade) and for the longest time, i considered myself catholic even though i wasnt baptized. i even prayed every night before i went to bed. (i used to have nightmares almost every night and actually, ever since i started praying, they'd go away!) i wasn't hardcore catholic, i didnt give up stuff for lent, but in spirit, i felt that catholic-God and me... we had an agreement. having been accepted into several prestigious Catholic high schools, the nuns felt that was the direction i should go in, and actually got upset with me when i finally decided to go to public school instead. and thats when it all went downhill. in high school, whilst going through the necessary "high school rebellion" stage, i decided that i needed to be able to make it.. alone. without God, who up to this point in my life, i had felt was my spiritual guidance and guardian... my safety net. "God will make everything ok." that was my mentality. and i was sick of it! i felt like i was cheating through life, almost. i felt like a wimp, like i couldnt really deal with anything on my own. I wanted to make everything ok. I wanted to guide me. and so... haha, actually, i prayed one last time, explaining my feelings, and that was it. God and i are on a break. an indefinite break. i call myself agnostic now.

haha, sorry guys, this was a very strange and long post! will update with the usual eye-candy in a bit... i've already got something in miiiind!!! :)